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How Long Does Sex Usually Last? How Can You Last Longer?

How long should sex last? The question has elicited many emotions and discussions but is there a right answer? There is no certain amount of time that sex should last. However, the time can vary due to personal preferences and several other factors, like what sex is to an individual. To one person sex may only involve penetrative intercourse, but to another, foreplay and going beyond each other’s orgasms may be the norm. 

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There's a big difference between the time that sex lasts and how long most people feel it should last. P in V sex, for example, averages a shorter time than most women would prefer. The assumption is true for women in a stable, monogamous, and heterosexual relationship.

What Do the Experts Say?

There are a few suggestions about the usual duration of sex. Many people consider sex to be the intimate act between heterosexual couples or penetrative sex only. This view is biased. 


In a large study from 2005, heterosexual couples that define sex as penetrative intercourse were asked to time their sex. The timing started from the moment of penetration to male ejaculation. 


All things considered, times range from 33 seconds to 44 minutes with an average session lasting 5.4 minutes.
For most people:

  • Sex lasting less than 3 minutes is cause for concern
  • A period of 3-7 minutes is good
  • Duration of 7-13 minutes is most preferable. Vaginal orgasms are more likely.
  • Duration of 10-30 minutes is unnecessarily long although still enjoyable.

That said, a separate study says the period it takes a heterosexual woman to orgasm is longer than you think. The study concluded the average to be 13.4 minutes. This agrees with findings from therapists interviewed in 2008. Results from the interview say that sex is satisfying to heterosexual women when it lasts a bit longer.

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Many cultural practices, advice from clinicians, pop culture, and personal issues can heavily influence sexual outcomes. Where expectations are high, these can contribute to sexual dissatisfaction. A separate school of thought says vaginal orgasms are closely tied to having P in V sex for a longer time.

What Impacts How Long You Last?

Many aspects contribute to how long you’ll last in the sack. These may include:
  1. What counts as sex? To some people, sex is any stimulating sexual contact. Ultimately, people with a wider defining scope feel their sex lasts longer. 
  2. Sexual norms, practices, and goals. Sexual goals like climaxing for each partner can affect the time taken.
  3. External factors. For instance, new parents may have to squeeze in a quickie during their baby’s nap time. Also, they may organize some time away so they can spend more time on foreplay. 
  4. Sexual orientation. According to a 2014 study, sex between a female couple lasts longer than sex between any other type of couple. 
  5. General health and sexual function. How long sex lasts can be limited by one’s state of health. 
  6. Age. Owing to factors affecting stamina and general health, sexual duration decreases with age.
  7. Psychologically you could be experiencing performance anxiety, stress, or even premature ejactulation.

What Can I Do To Prolong It?

Premature ejaculation is when ejaculation/orgasm occurs sooner than you or your partner would prefer. Here are a few tips

Medication

Although there are drugs that help with premature ejaculation, doctors recommend alternative therapies first. 
Viagra and other erectile dysfunction drugs can also help you remain erect after busting a nut. This allows you to continue having sex after you finish. 

Desensitizers

Although some doctors recommend numbing sprays or creams, anything that reduces the penis’ sensitivity can help delay an orgasm. Ideally, you can spray the head of the penis about half an hour before penetrative sex. Then rinse off the spray a few minutes before sex (5-10 minutes). This is so that the spray does not affect your erection or cause numbness in your partner’s vagina or anus. Using a condom helps to further dull sensitivity. 

Foreplay

A longer period of foreplay is one sure way to prolong how long sex lasts. You may find it helpful to include touching and oral sex among your sexual activities. Where P in V sex is too short for both partners to achieve an orgasm, this can come in handy. You are at liberty to try out any method you can to last longer. You can try to include sex toys, extend your foreplay, or attempt a new position. But, if your issue is premature ejaculation, we understand it might be stressing out your sex life.

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Get Out Of Your Head

Many of us suffer from performance anxiety and you’re not alone. While we've gone through some things that you can physically do to last longer, the best thing you can do is mental. Instead of focusing on you, focus on your partner. Think about how you can connect with them better. Or how you can make their experience together with you more pleasurable. The point is to take your inward focus and project it onto your partner in a positive way. 

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Check out these steps to become more attractive.